I always fall for your type

I've been going through my mental Rolodex trying to figure out what my type is. When I have these conversations with myself I come up with a great list. When I'm put on the spot and asked the question I stumble.  I don't know if I have a definite list, but I do have physical qualities and personality traits that peak my interest. An attractive light-skin cutie to a chocolate deluxe and maybe an occasional vanilla swirl all catch my attention. When I walk down the street I feel like a man gawking at a women sometimes by all the eye candy I see. Back to the type, so once we get past the looks then that's when the personality comes in.  Not that I'm superficial, and I know you can't judge a book by its cover, but I'm not going to even pick up the book unless the cover interests me. I'm just saying.

Nice personality, easy-going, sense of humor, honest, hard-working, easily adaptable, slightly spontaneous, ambitious, intelligent, charismatic are just a few of the things that come to mind when I think of my ideal mate. The goal is not to follow patterns of the past, and to learn form each situation.  There's a reason those that are in the past are there.  Sometimes things just don't work out and I can accept that and have definitely been happier once certain situations died.  Yes, I know die is a strong word but it describes what needed to happen to certain situations.

I'm still trying to come to a conclusion of what I desire in a mate, and it keeps switching up from day to day. I guess once I can decide what I want then the universe will bring it to me.

1. I realized that some times things just aren't meant to work out. If you feel as though you're tyring too hard then maybe you should stop. My life example was NBA all star 2003 in Atlanta. My flight got cancelled twice and by the time I got there my ride experienced issues.  Then I had to give directions to the supershuttle to Clark Atlanta to try to break in and stay with a friend for the night.  This was what made me realize that if I have to try toooo hard that maybe it's just not meant to be.

2. Stripping for Jesus.  What's this nonsense that they keep talking about. I refused to check into it because this just doesn't sound right.  Not that I'm judging anyone because you gotta do what you gotta do, but stripping for Jesus is just a bit too much for me.

3. I was asked if my ADHD should be a concern.  I don't think it's affected me so far. I just have to continuously keep doing things or I will get bored and go crazy, or at least that's the way I feel.  Maybe I should try just being still like my mother would want for me to do. 

4.After watching the various posts on facebook and youtube it made me wonder how common abusive relationships were.  I've seen grown men go in on women like they were dudes and have been shocked/sickened. I'm not sure how I would react if I was involved in one.  I'm lowkey scared of what I would do since I do believe in revenge and retaliation.

5.I think of Miami a great deal, despite the fact that I was ready to get the hell out of there after graduation. If i can't make it there at least once a year a part of me dies.  Yes I am being over-dramatic, but that's my old stomping grounds. My college years were a great time for growth, learning about myself, and the beginning of my independence.  That city will always have a hold of me and that's probably where my obsession comes from.

I lie to you, because I love you.

For some reason this line from Baby Boy popped into my head. "I lie to you because I love you, but I tell the other ones the truth", was kinda how the line went. That's a bunch of nonsense if I ever heard of any such thing. If you love me you should be willing to tell me the truth, regardless of what the consequences may be.  At least that way I'll be able to make an informed decision on what I should do with you. This can go for any type of relationship: work, friendship, marriage.

Without honesty or truth, what do you really have? If you can't take a person based off of the things that come out of their mouth, then there really is no purpose in trying to wait to see if their actions will back them up. So you love me and feel that it's best to lie to me, because you feel I couldn't handle the truth. The saying probably is more like, "I lie to you because if I told you the truth, my truth would be that you would leave me". I can handle the truth, because at least that let's me know that you still have enough integrity to hone up to your mistakes.  A person that realizes their mistakes, and is willing to work on them, shows me that there is the possibility for reconciliation.

Lets be honest, the real reason why you lie is because you're selfish. Selfish people make decisions for others without consulting them.  I rather you not be selfish and choose honesty. In the long run I think it would probably work out for the best, or it might not.

Top 5

1. 03.15.2011- Nathaniel "Nate Dogg" Hale passed away. When I think back to the songs of my youth and even more recent songs, if Nate was on the hook, it was almost a guaranteed hit. 41 is too young for a life to end. I always thought that if I created a song Nate would sing the hook, Dre would produce it, and Swizz Beats would do the remix. I guess I gotta go back to the drawing board for my album.

2. I think that is unfair that married people don't wear their wedding rings.  It's a waste of my time to put in effort to try to find out about you, to just find out later that you are married.  At least if you had your ring on , the "not available" or "no vacancy" sign would be up so I could just keep it pushing. #IJS (I'm just saying).

3. Dear producers of MTV, you owe me an apology. When reality TV first appeared with the Real World I enjoyed it, but now thanks to that show, everything on TV is reality TV. No one cares about people living in a house in Jersey; or people who claim that they are wives, when in most cases they were just the glorified jump-off. Damn it, they should record my reality or some people who at least matter. Show people with real jobs and real struggles. I can appreciate Extreme home makeover or Undercover Millionaire as opposed to Bad Girls Club or any housewife show. Not to say that I don't watch it, it's just that I'm tired of it.

4. I am still upset that the clouds in Los Angeles blocked me from seeing the supermoon on Saturday evening. I really don't want to have to wait another 18 years for the moon to get that close again. Dear Los Angeles sky....you suck!!!

5. Still wants a shirt that says "Chocolate Deluxe". I remember listening to that Wu-Tang song thinking what flavor I would be.  I am definitely not a mocha, or vanilla bean. Chocolate Deluxe fits me so well. I tried searching for the shirt but was unsuccessful. I will keep looking and when I find one, watch out!

The Words I Never Said

Shout out to Lupe Fiasco and Lasers for giving me some things to think about. "It's so loud inside my head, filled with words I should have said". I realize at times people keep things to them self, when they should be let out for the world to hear. The words that you might say might just be the thing that someone needs to hear. I know I'm guilty of keeping many words inside my head. I'm going to make an effort in trying to reach out to those who I care for and placing my time in those that actually matter and ignoring those who need to be ignored. It's not too much time before Tuesday begins, so I guess I'm done for this week.
TOP 5 Randomness with a bonus 2*






1. Driving: I love the concept of driving and can relate it to my life. Through my rear view I see my past, through the windshield I see my future, and the present is at my sides. Upgrades and downgrades will occur and possibly accidents.


2.Biggie died 14 years ago on March 9, 1997. His killer has yet to be found. Can you imagine how music would be today if he was still here. Would Jay-Z be as big as he is on the east coast.


3. I always wondered if I was a rapper would I be able to create a double entendre, or maybe even a triple entendre. A double entendre for those of you who do not know is a phrase that can be understood in two ways. For example " I move keys, you can call me the piano man". Plating a piano involves moving the keys and moving keys of cocaine would get you the name of piano man because you are moving keys (even though they are keys of coke). Jay-Z does this best or at least the most often which is why I enjoy listening to him and hip-hop as a whole. I like to see what creative way a person may put their words.


4.Is gradually realizing that despite my mind rambling, I am somehow able to get things done in a timely fashion.
5.I've always played video games but took a hiatus for about 10-15 years. Guess what....I'm back. I figured I would make the announcement that DJ Hero has supported my decision in choosing to pursue my djing career. My name is DJ Haute Fiyah (insert siren now).





*This bonus is for Ken since he called me out for not officially having a top 5. He gets the gold star for paying attention.


**I advise for everyone to explore their surroundings. In the past two weeks I have been and seen many places in LA that I have not seen during my 29 years in this country. I've learned alot about the history of downtown in addition to the Hollywood area and Santa Monica. Take a tour people. Enjoy our city and our state.

The Rules

So while having a conversation with a male friend we began to talk about the various rules of dating. Wait a few days before calling once you get someones #, wait 90 days before being intimate, wait a certain before bringing up the concept of being in a relationship, etc, etc, etc. Who came up with these rules and why should I abide by something that I didn't create. Why should I follow some arbitrary guideline that doesn't align with what I believe in. I never followed any rules, like Drake said, "I just always did my own thing". We came to the conclusion that rules don't and shouldn't apply to everyone. Sometimes there's that chemistry or "vibing" that makes everything go out the window. I like to call it the "game changer". It's the thing that has you switching up what you do because you want to. In my opinion the only thing that I can do with rules is break them.

My week of randomness

1. Man at grocery store who I am convinced was tipsy: You know Godzilla was a love story, that gorilla was just in love with that women and ppl just didn't understand....Mind you he was talking to himself the entire time which just adds to the hilarity.

2. Discovery of a great concoction: Pomegrante vodka and lemonade from Jack N the Box. Try it. It'll change you life, or at least your night.

3.Hustle men in Hollywood and Beverly hills: Please refrain from assuming that I will want to buy your product just because you're black. I'm all for supporting an up-and-coming person but I refuse to support crap, especially from a rude a-hole. #that is all

I'm done for my Monday night talk. Let's see if I show back up next week.

2011

I've decided to actually use my blog that I created a year ago to clear my mind of thoughts that I need to get rid of. Look out for the week in review on Monday nights. Can't wait.